Bra Shopping with Denae
I recently went bra shopping with a GG friend of whose name is Anna. She had recently lost some weight, was starting a new job and felt it was time to find a new bra to go with some new clothes she had recently purchased. Her top drawer contained only well worn bras that had been new (and fit well) a long time ago. She dreaded the task of find a new bra and asked me to come along with her. For most genetic women, for reasons I will talk about shortly, about the only thing worse than bra shopping is swimsuit shopping.
While I was out with Anna, it occurred to me that one of the differences between genetic and transgendered women is how they feel about bras. For many TG women, bras are emotionally powerful symbols. It’s not uncommon for my TG clients to have dozens or even hundreds of bras. There are often two sets of factors at work. The first is there are few garments that are more associated with the feminine that the bra. Only women wear bras. Anyone may wear pants, sweaters, coats, shoes, underpants, but only women wear bras. Hence to be a woman is to wear a bra and to wear a bra is to be a woman. The second factor is most men find bras (and the women wearing them) sexually attractive. Seeing a woman in a bra is seeing that which is forbidden and there is enough maleness in most TG women for this reflex to still be powerful. Between these two factors, bras exert a special emotional hold on many TG women.
Genetic women have a very different view of bras; at least once they are past puberty. Bras are something that we wear everyday, for most of the hours of the day. For most of us, wearing a bra is not optional but is something we must do. It’s often a struggle simply to find a bra that fits right and is comfortable– If the bra does not offer enough support, it hurts. If the straps are two thin and cut into our shoulders, it hurts–if the cups are too small, it hurts. Underwire bras offer lots of support but the wires often end up hurting us too. At the same time we want something that is pretty and feminine and not something our mother would wear.
In spite of all this, most of us have only a few bras in our drawers (far fewer than most tg women). We often have a few of our “every day” bras and a few more for special occasions that can range from exercise class to wearing that low cut sweater, to that special time with our guy.
Anna on this occasion was looking for a new “everyday” bra. Now Anna is a little taller than most women and after losing some weight is more thin than heavy. She has had several children, although it was a while ago. She is still a little busty even after the weight loss and so support is important to her. She normally wears a 36D or maybe 38C. We went to Macy’s since they a nice collection of bras, although they are anything but inexpensive. One of the things that makes bra shopping so hard is that many bras these days cost $25 or more and you really cannot tell if one will work until after you have bought it and worn it for a few days (after which its too late to return). What feels good for a few moments in dressing room can be really uncomfortable after a few hours at work.
We walked around the lingerie department at Macy’s looking for the right bra. There were lots of bras with an underwire but Anna found most of them uncomfortable even in the dressing room. Finally we found a very nice one by Bali called “Double Support”. It was a full coverage bra, which was not the sexiest bra in the world but was pretty and feminine and would work great as her “everyday” bra. It also came in cotton, which is a lot cooler to wear. Anna found it comfortable and felt okay about buying it. She even got it sale at $19, marked down from almost $30. Most full coverage bras are great for breast forms, too!
Denae
